Book One – Chapter 19

It made sense. But when he looked back at the door with its slit of glass, the words inside him sounded thin, with the syllables about to collapse under the weight of their meaning. To strengthen them, the mask attached its whispering assurances: This is what matters. To serve is how we secure our place – respect, and favour, and trust – from guards and from guests. But the two half faces beneath knew better. They knew the unsaid underneath, the unspoken truth behind the mask. They were staring right at its backside. The mask no longer served only for the guards and guests. It existed for Yu. It was there to pretend in front of him as well — he had set it against himself; in front of himself.

In this, the two halves were united. Both wanted to tear it off. The mask reasoned for patience; to plan, to prepare, and to wait for the right moment to flee, while the screaming part raved to risk everything now. The wanting part refused both. It saw no purpose in other places or people. They only lived for the .

Yu touched his neck with the stump end of his left wing. Then he raised the other and rubbed over both his earholes. Nothing changed. The world remained mute. He could not even hear the silence. From within, the mask’s voice commanded motion. It forced him forward. To the pot. To the task. To the lie of normality.

He searched the shelves for a tray, then for bowls. There were several kinds. One cupboard held twenty wide and shallow ones that were more plate than anything. Another one below kept as many tall ones, narrow and deep. All of them were neatly stacked and perfectly aligned. Apart from these, Yu spotted several individual an non-matching pieces randomly strewn about the other shelves. He could not recall which ones Bubs had used earlier for dinner. He decided for the tall ones, mainly because they were made from some sort of horn, while the flat ones were made of stone, and right now, he really did not need that extra weight on top of all the other burdens he carried.