Book One – Chapter 19

Yu stepped through the doorway but then halted, seized by the impossible sensation that he had come too close and yet not close enough. He could not open his beak and he could not hold his gaze. His eyes sank to the shaman’s right hand, pale against the cloth that lay between her long fingers and the selder’s fur. He could not look away. He needed to see if she would touch him directly. At the same time, he needed to see that she would not.

His feathers prickled. His thoughts split. The guard mask tried to hold them together and urged him to speak, to announce himself, to perform the expected. But beneath it, the hollow self stirred and swelled and screamed. It saw the shaman’s fingers brush the selder’s fur and screamed so much that the stammering self shrank back in terror and then fell silent, down to where the Wanting roared. And when the frightened part surrendered, the Wanting surged upwards, straining towards the surface, yearning towards her.

“Hello Yu,” said the shaman. “How good of you to serve.”

This was not the ’s voice. There was no trace of the . It was only the shaman who spoke, not the body. And yet, her voice stopped the inner screaming, because now the Wanting listened. It searched. This was not right. The had to be there. But Yu did not hear her. He still could not hear properly. His ears were still submerged, filled with constant throbbing and pressure that would not drain. He inclined his head, as if that simple tilt could clear his muted senses and let the sound back in. What came out instead was a single word, an attempt to speak, so that he would hear more from her in return; rough, clipped, and not enough. “Hello.”

The krynn shifted on his stool. He nodded once in acknowledgment, then stilled again with that same expectant silence.

“Well, yes. There’s dinner,” Yu continued. “It’s ready, I mean. Your companion is in the common room. I brought some food for him. And for you. You can go and eat.”

The krynn rose slowly. His eyes moved, first to the selder, then to the shaman, and finally to Yu. He nodded again, firmer this time, and left. There was no protest and no question. His quiet obedience startled Yu. To speak, and have someone simply obey — it unsettled him. He had suggested that the krynn should leave, yes, but it was weird to see him just … do what he said. Like he had a say in what was going on here.