Book One – Chapter 17

No.

No way.

That can’t be right.

She didn’t mean —

She couldn’t mean —

No way she meant him.

She could not possibly think that Yu would —

Did she actually believe he could do that? Read someone’s thoughts and intentions? Her intentions? Sift through the witch’s mind, through the deception and madness and whatever horror she had buried in there and somehow drag out a verdict? Dare decide, in the brink of the moment, right here, right now, in front of everyone, whether it was safe to let this witch into the guild?

Yu’s breath caught. He had to speak, had to correct the shaman, say something, anything to fix this mistake before it spiralled even further out of control, before it collapsed from bottomless embarrassment into irreversible humiliation.

But what was he supposed to say? I can’t do that because I am fucking useless and also scared shitless? No, they hated him already. No need to confirm their suspicions.

Better lie. Just lie. Say I won’t do a reading — because … because something. Because a reason. A good one that makes sense for everyone. Because … because … fuck, because what? Because I, as a wizard, refuse a witch, no matter what? That could work. Except it wouldn’t. He could not refuse the shaman’s order.

What if I just … do it, for real? Actually try it? Or pretend. Make the motions. Say some words. Who would know? Maybe something will happen. Maybe all Transcenders can do that. Maybe it will just happen naturally, the way magic sometimes does? Or maybe the witch would see through it and kill him where he stood. Right. That is also possible —

Dammit, just get over with it! I’ll say I already sensed something. That she shouldn’t enter. Yes. Or I heard something. Yes, better — wait, no! If I say that they’ll expect me to do that again next time. To do it every time, with everyone. Shit.

Were they watching him? They were. The guards, the travellers, the witch. All of them.

Shit, shit, shit, just do something! All right, I’ll do it, but no way I go down there. I’ll call her up and just pretend and say something and then say No when it’s done. ‘Step forward, witch.’ No, I need more. ‘Fear not, witch. I will not harm you.’ No, that’s too much, that’s not how people talk, that’s not how I talk, they’ll see right through it. Fuck, why is this so hard? Because it’s scary as shit — Focus! Keep it simple. Sound firm, like Tria, when she greets habitat visitors. ‘I am the guild’s Transcender. I won’t harm you I will not harm you.’ Yes, that’s it, that works. All right, all right, now, say it now, just say it, all right, ‘I am the Transcender’, there it is, yes, all right, wait, no, ‘I am the guild’s Transcender’, yes, like that, yes, all right, say it and look official and then do something and then say No, all right, here it comes!

Were they watching him? They were. The guards, the travellers, the witch. All of them.

Yu opened his beak: “I —”

“No,” said the witch.

Yu snapped his beak shut.

Oh thank God.